Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
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