What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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