so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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