I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
