Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Randomize
