It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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