perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
