I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
