Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
