i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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