Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
