1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
