Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
