ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
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