I think im going to throw up on grandma
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize