love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
