i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
It was confusing and full of hummus
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
