Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
