its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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