So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
