Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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