I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
