I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
