K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i love accidental penises.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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