but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
