We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Let's get the cat blown out
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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