She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
