What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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