i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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