I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
