These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
