So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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