The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
