im drinking this country out of the recession.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
