Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
