so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
