What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
