New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
