dude i'm inner monologue high
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
