Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
