Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
