I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
