Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
