i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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