Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize