her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
