His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
