I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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