I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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