Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
