you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i love accidental penises.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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