I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
