I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
