I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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