i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
you're hired as official boob wrangler
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
