Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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