Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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