I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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