Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
