I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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