And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
