You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
