I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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