I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I need help removing her.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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