Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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