you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
God, I missed his penis.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
