In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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