i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
