she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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