If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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